Here it is, a confession: I had Chinese food for dinner. I knew it was wrong and I did it anyway. I wasn't prepared with something quick and easy to heat up, and I went for what was easy. Lots of homework to do, and no time to cook.

Tomorrow is going to be a really tough day -- but I have to find time to go to the gym. Either after class, or after meeting with my study group for our exam on Thursday. I've got some calories to burn now. But I did journal it -- so that counts for something, right?

Isn't it funny the tricks your mind can play on you? I was thinking about 10 minutes ago how i'm not really hungry, but I'm not at my calories for the day. I had planned to have a snack this evening, but since I wasn't hungry - I didn't know if I should eat to make my calories or not eat because I'm not hungry.

I hadn't even made a decision yet, when all of a sudden my stomach starts growling. What? All of a sudden hungry? I have the calories left - so it's not an issue if I eat -- I just don't get why all of a sudden my body needed food. Or if it needs food at all. Or if it is just my brain convincing me that I need food. So weird.



So far my food has been good for the day - 1390 calories thus far. and I've been eating good, filling foods all day. This type of daily menu will work well for me on days I don't go to the gym when I have 1300 calories to consume. Days I do go to the gym, I allow myself 1700 calories.

I went to the gym again today - 50 minutes on the elliptical, 30 minutes weight training. Still considering personal training -- but want to do it on my own for a while, to see if I can get results by myself. Save the trainer for when I need to spice up my routine or when I lose the "honeymoon" feeling.

I'm liking this journaling every day. Gets my thoughts out here -- and keeps it real. No reason to lie to the internet, right?
 

Some disappointing news on the scale today -- up to 260.4. Remember when 250 was my "no-go" land? Ugh. I worked out more last week than the rest of the month combined -- which I figured had to count for something. But it's obvious my eating was off. Way off. I didn't want to have to do it -- but it looks like I'm going to have to go back to the land of calorie counting. At least for a while. I was successful the last time I counted calories and worked out. It's just a lot of work, especially when you make most of your own food - so there is no label on the box. But I guess the good thing is that this will hopefully curtail the night eating that I've been doing.

I've calculated my BMR using a variety of calculators online -- they all tell me different things - but I'm going to average them and say 2300. That's pretty consistent with that I was using last time too. So - to lose 2 lbs a week, I can eat 1300 calories a day. More on exercise days -- let's say 1700.

I'm not letting this get me down. I need to use the momentum from my workouts last week to get me through this week. I'm definitely sore from it!


I'll be back with reports on how this is going. Wish me luck (is anyone still out there?)

Today was workout #4 for the week. This is the best week I've had in months. Has it been perfect? Not at all. But has it been so much better than the week before, and the week before that? Hell yes. I finally feel like I've gotten into a routine in Carlisle. School, working out, studying, friends, eating relatively healthy. Some good stuff going on around here. Now hopefully that starts showing on the scale too. Started this week at 259, so I'm excited for Monday to come, to see where we are. Weigh in day always was my favorite when I was doing well with the weight loss. It shows me that something is actually working. I just hope that it is working.

It's amazing how much better I feel when I'm working out regularly. It is great to not want to kill yourself when you're at the gym, because you have some stamina that allows you to keep going. I love the feeling of being sore from working out. My mood skyrockets when I've been working out and eating right. Which is what I need right now - because boy, will law school make you depressed if you let it.

It's Saturday night and I plan to spend most of it studying. I'm taking a break later to make salmon and asparagus. I can't wait. Let's just hope my eating tonight is better than it has been the last couple of nights -- I didn't eat so healthy before I went to the gym, so I've got to stay on track tonight.

Today was 'eh'. Too much food at dinner, otherwise okay. Water was pretty good - definitely room for improvement!

Gym in the morning -- then taking the first practice exam of my law school career. Then treating myself to clothes and grocery shopping. Oh, and I have a sexy date with my CivPro materials this weekend. Like round-the-clock kind of date.

Got my water in today -- two nalgenes while I was at school plus two britas full at night.

Eating was good, until I started snacking on graham crackers and peanut butter. Only 3 sheets, but still.

Got to the gym for 45 minutes of cardio and 20ish minutes of weights. There were so many people at the gym today that had no.idea. what they were doing. Like none. I definitely need to schedule my trips to the gym to avoid the 'rush' hour -- I hate not having free reign to whatever machine I want. Luckily, the schedule of a student allows for it. This was my 2nd trip this week - I'm going to try for Friday morning - last minute studying for my Torts exam while on the elliptical? Seems reasonable.

Back to studying...

Still going relatively strong. Eating has been pretty good - not great. Did go out for dinner with friends tonight and got a cup of french onion soup and six wings. Could have been considerably worse. I didn't go grocery shopping last weekend - so I'm starting to run out of some of my staples (only one apple left!) -- which means that my meals are having to get a little more creative - but there is definitely not a shortage of food! Just shortage of carrying-to-school food. That will be remedied this weekend for sure.

Didn't go to the gym today, still sore from yesterday -- aiming for tomorrow. I'm going to take my clothes with me to school, so I can go straight to the gym after my last class. That way I can be home by 5-ish and get back to studying.

I've noticed that, while I'm getting in my water overall, it is not spread evenly throughout the day. I'm averaging 20-30 oz during the school day (up until 5pm or so) -- but then considerably more after that. Usually about 2 brita pitchers worth during dinner and the rest of the evening. I'm at school from 8-3:30 tomorrow (ugh, longest day) -- so my goal is to drink two nalgenes of water. I used to drink so much water at work -- but since starting school, this has completely dropped off.

My TOM is coming tomorrow/Thursday - so I really need to stay strong during it. Luckily school is so busy that I don't really have time to be focusing on that.

So there's that. Getting more water is my goal.

I've been playing with the same 10 pounds for over 2 years (probably closer to 3). I have got to break this cycle. Here's to finally getting out the 250s for good! My goal is to get into the 240s (and hopefully the 230s) before the end of the semester. Mark my words. I'm at 259 as of yesterday.

One day I will realize that eating too much makes me super uncomfortable and sick.

This half-ass effort is not getting me anywhere. In fact, it got me back up to the weight (257ish) that I was at before I went on vacation and lost weight this summer.

I'm super busy with school - but I seriously need to make time for the gym. Once I get my outlines in better shape (hopefully tonight - depending on how soon I stop procrastinating my CivPro) -- I can take it and review while at the gym. Reading cases - even when they're on regular paper and not in books - is not easy at the gym. Not even on the stationary bike. So outlines it is.

They say that law school is the most unhealthy you'll be in your life -- I'm hoping to make that a false statement. After all, I lost 25 lbs my freshman year in college instead of gaining the freshman 15.